So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
