dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
