you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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