It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
