There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
