haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
