More tranny stories later!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
