By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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