he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
