Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Drunk is not a location!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
