You're my little dorito
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
