I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
