You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
