id be glad to
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize