Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
