Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize