You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
