I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he wants to bone in the snuggie
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize