Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
