I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize