we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
