What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
