So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize