the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
