Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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