just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
sex in a hospital.. check
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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