How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize