4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
