just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
