Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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