I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she looked like the before picture.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
