then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
