i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
