Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
