Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize