I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
