You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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