I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
