I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
