I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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