i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
