Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
