No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
