I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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