we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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