Buhtt sex?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize