New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
