happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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