normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
