i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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