They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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