just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
