I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
