I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You are the jesus of drinking
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize