The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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