I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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