just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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