That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
