dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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