My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
