flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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