so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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