True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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