He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
