i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
