I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
