can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
