I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
