garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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