i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
