I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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