their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
