I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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