When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
