Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I stole a fireplace last night.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
