I'm gonna have a badass scar
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
