is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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