I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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